When the Party Orders a Seven‑Course Dungeon Crawl
You know the type: a group so starved for adventure that they insist on stacking every quest, side mission, dungeon crawl, and pub brawl into one night—like a seven‑course meal of traps, puzzles, and boss fights. It sounds decadent… until you’re four hours deep, out of spells, and the rogue’s snoring on his character sheet.
This satire is a love letter to every table that’s bitten off more dungeons than they can chew.
Why It Happens
Players are hungry. GMs over‑prep. The calendar’s busy, so you try to squeeze two sessions into one. Before long, you’ve got a “dungeon tasting menu” that leaves everyone with narrative indigestion.
Need to trim the fat? Take a peek at When the Table’s Full — But It Feels Empty and How to Fix a Game That’s Starting to Fall Apart. They’re the tonic for overstuffed sessions.
How to Survive a Seven‑Course Crawl
Pick One Entrée: Focus on the main dungeon and leave side quests for another night.
Add Palette Cleansers: Between big fights, throw in a roleplay scene or a short rest to breathe.
Know When to Box It: Sometimes the “dessert dungeon” becomes next week’s starter. There’s no shame in saving content for later.
Share the Menu: Let players help choose which courses to serve. They’ll tell ya if they’ve had enough.
What to Do If You’re Already Stuffed
Be honest: “This is great, but let’s wrap after this boss.” Better to leave folks hungry for more than force another course down their throats. After all, campaigns are long feasts—you don’t need to gorge every time.
Ready to plan a balanced feast? Check out A Dungeon Built to Punish the Greedy, Not the Weak for a one‑shot that teaches teamwork over gluttony.
Final Toast
Overindulgence—whether in food, loot, or dungeon crawls—makes the best things go stale. Serve what your table can savor and leave room for seconds next week. For more tales of overindulgence and how to avoid them, visit About Mike’s Tavern or drop a line through Contact.
FAQ – When the Party Orders a Seven‑Course Dungeon Crawl
Q: How many dungeons are too many for one session?
A: Usually more than two full dungeons is pushin’ it. Keep it digestible.
Q: What if the group insists on keepin’ on?
A: Remind ’em you want everyone awake and happy for the finale. Save the leftovers.
Q: Is splitting sessions bad for pacing?
A: Not at all—cliffhangers are a powerful spice.
Q: Can satirical one‑shots like this work in serious campaigns?
A: Aye. Humor can teach without sermonizing. Just don’t overdo it.
Q: How do we gently tell our GM they’re overpreppin’?
A: Praise their prep, then suggest smaller bites. They’ll appreciate not havin’ to rush.
