The Bubble & No Floor

Dec 31

Floating. Spinning. Boozin’. Try not to die.

If Ye Can’t Fly, Ye Don’t Belong

The Bubble & No Floor is a zero-gravity tavern from Mike’s Tavern for D&D 5e & Pathfinder 2e — aerial social encounters, floating brawls, and cinematic, plug-and-play set pieces.

By Harnak’s shattered pickaxe, I told that bard not to cast Feather Fall. Thought it’d save his sorry lute-hugging hide. Turns out The Bubble & No Floor don’t care about yer soft landings. It ain’t got a floor, laddie. It’s got rules.

Y’see, this tavern? It’s not on the world — it’s above it. A perfect crystal sphere, hangin’ somewhere between cloud and courage, where the ale floats and the stools drift and nobody — I mean nobody — better be wearin’ heavy armor unless they want a bad spin and a broken nose.

There’s no door. No stairs. No teleport circle. If ye want in, ye fly. Wings, broomsticks, summoned eagles, or a really angry updraft — don’t matter. Just get airborne.

And once yer inside? Hope yer stomach’s as sturdy as yer liver.

📌 Think ya got the balance to drink upside-down with a satyr and a celestial squid?
👉 Come tumble through Mike’s Tavern Toolshed — or scream yer regrets on the way down through the contact chute.

A Tavern Without Gravity — or Mercy

The Bubble & No Floor ain’t just a tavern — it’s a test of coordination, conversation, and not accidentally roundhouse-kickin’ yer drinkin’ partner. Everything inside floats. The drinks. The tables. The barkeep’s eye if he don’t like yer face.

The whole tavern’s built outta floating stone disks, thick chains that sway but don’t snap, and suspended casks that pour themselves when whistled at.

Core Features:

No gravity. Movement is slow, chaotic, and always dangerous.
Floating rock “islands” instead of floors or walls.
Drinks served in globes that float with ye — pop ‘em to sip.
Bar fights are ballets of pain. Tables spin. Chairs orbit. Knuckles drift.

Who’s Dumb Enough to Drink Here?

Only the weird, the wild, and the weightless. Here’s a sampler of yer skyborne regulars:

Tziff the Tumbler: An acrobat turned ale critic. Has no bones. Doesn’t explain why.
Grumblegut the Gargoyle: Comes for the ambiance. Leaves with a headache.
Sister Featherbrand: An Aarakocra nun. Drinks for visions. Usually gets ‘em.
The Floatin’ Frog: A bard cursed to never touch the ground again. Plays lute with his feet. It’s weirdly good.

And then there's the bartender — nobody knows his name. Might be three people. Might be a sentient napkin. Don’t ask.

Things That Can Go Terribly, Beautifully Wrong

Yer players won’t forget this place. Mostly ‘cause they’ll be sore for a week.

The Tavern Tilts: A sudden storm outside shifts the bubble’s center. Everyone tumbles. Drinks mix. Secrets spill.
A Patron Starts Spinnin’: A cursed coin causes infinite rotation. The player must roleplay dizziness. Or puke.
A Fight Breaks Out: A table slams into a player. Another player throws a chair that never stops. The bartender starts pouring drinks mid-air. Initiative, lads.
The Gravity Comes Back: Temporarily. For 3 seconds. Then it vanishes again. Anyone not tied down learns to fly.

Plot Hooks in the Air

Use The Bubble & No Floor as a one-shot tavern, a legendary secret, or a mid-campaign chaos setpiece.

A bounty hides here — and only those who can fly can catch 'em.
The tavern’s shifting — rumor says it's gonna fall. Or explode. Or turn inside out.
A key to another plane is sealed in one of the floating barrels — but only one. And they all look the same.
The tavern offers a drink that lets yer mind float outta yer body. Trouble is... someone else wants in.

By Tharn’s Itchy Chainmail, Tie Yerself to a Table and Pray It Don’t Spin

This ain’t a tavern for the faint-hearted or the ground-bound. The Bubble & No Floor will mess with yer momentum, yer orientation, and yer faith in basic physics. Drop it in when yer players are gettin’ too comfy. Or when you need a laugh.

👉 For more places that’ll make yer party question their life choices, visit the Tavern Toolshed, knock on the FAQ barrel, or float a scroll to Mike’s inbox. I’ll read it upside down.