Tavern Armory
What Ye Need to Know
The weapon: Whoopee Pillow Morningstar of Involuntary Toots
Weapon type: +1 magic morningstar
Rarity: Rare
Attunement: Required
Best users: Fighters, paladins, clerics, and close-range disruptors
Combat role: Critical-hit thunder burst, brief deafness, and controlled push
This +1 morningstar ends in a purple, spiked whoopee cushion. Once per turn on a critical hit, it releases a 10-foot thunder burst. Other creatures in the area make a DC 15 Constitution save. On a failure, they take 1d6 thunder damage, are pushed 5 feet directly away, and are deafened until the start of the wielder’s next turn. On a success, they take half damage and suffer no push or deafness.
A Strange Addition to the Rack
The Sound Nobody Wants in Heavy Armour
Its iron chain is real, its spikes are real, and the swollen purple cushion between those spikes is somehow even more threatening. Every swing produces a small anticipatory squeak.
A perfect strike compresses the cushion completely and releases a flatulent thunderclap that shoves nearby creatures away while destroying all dignity in the room.
The Whoopee Pillow Morningstar of Involuntary Toots is an original Mike's Tavern weapon for D&D 5e. The burst occurs only on a critical hit, allows a Constitution save, excludes the wielder, and lasts to a precise turn boundary. Deafness creates disruption without denying actions.
Magic Weapon Statistics
Whoopee Pillow Morningstar of Involuntary Toots
Formal D&D 5e Item Rules
Weapon (morningstar), rare (requires attunement)
You gain a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic morningstar.
Thunderous Toot. Once per turn, when you score a critical hit with the morningstar, it releases a concussive blast audible out to 300 feet. Every other creature within 10 feet of you must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 1d6 thunder damage, is pushed 5 feet directly away from you, and is deafened until the start of your next turn. On a successful save, it takes half as much damage and is neither pushed nor deafened.
A creature immune to thunder damage still makes the saving throw against the push and deafness. A creature that cannot hear is immune to the deafened portion only. The push ends early if blocked by solid terrain and never knocks a creature prone.
A Rare Burst, Not a Repeating Blast
Why the Thunderous Toot Works
The +1 morningstar remains useful on every ordinary hit. Its special effect is a critical-hit event rather than a resource the wielder can demand each round.
A 5-foot push can break adjacency, move a creature out of a formation, or free space around the wielder. Deafness may interfere with hearing-dependent communication but does not stop spellcasting by itself.
The blast affects allies as well as enemies and uses a Constitution save. Crowding the wielder creates opportunity and danger in equal measure.
The right mindset is explained in the Tavern's guide to when doing less damage can win more fights. The weapon's trick matters only when it improves the party's position.
Best Wielders
Who Should Carry It
Fighters
More attacks create more critical-hit opportunities, while armour lets the fighter occupy the crowded position where a 10-foot burst matters.
Paladins
A critical hit may already invite a smite. The morningstar adds a second dramatic payoff without requiring another action.
Clerics
Strength-based clerics can disrupt creatures surrounding them while keeping a shield in the other hand.
Build Around the Gimmick
Character-Building Guidance
Prioritize Strength for attack and damage rolls, then Constitution for surviving among multiple creatures. A shield complements the one-handed morningstar.
Do not build the entire character around critical hits unless that plan already works without the burst. The weapon must remain satisfying through long stretches of ordinary attack rolls.
Agree on targets and timing with the party before committing the signature effect. The Tavern's teamwork guide shows why clear calls and reliable follow-through matter more than keeping the joke to yerself.
Know Who Is Standing Within Ten Feet
Thunderous Toot Tactics
Separate the Formation
A critical burst can push several enemies away from the wielder and open a route through a crowded line.
Protect Nearby Allies
Friends in the area must save too. Position so the blast catches more enemies than companions.
Use Terrain Carefully
A 5-foot push can move a creature off a ledge if the geometry allows, but walls stop the movement rather than adding collision damage.
Whenever the choice becomes uncertain, return to position, timing, and target choice. A good gimmick still needs a good target.
Sound, Shields, and Crowded Spaces
Morningstar Considerations
The weapon is one-handed, leaving room for a shield. Its burst originates from the wielder, not the creature struck.
The sound is audible out to 300 feet and may alert nearby inhabitants. Doors, walls, and ambient noise still influence what understands the sound’s source.
Deafness does not automatically interrupt concentration, prevent verbal spell components, or impose a universal attack penalty.
Advice for the Game Master
How to Run It at the Table
Place the morningstar in a jester’s armoury, a disgraced herald’s tomb, or the possession of a grim champion who refuses to explain the cushion.
Use one decisive sound and a visible pressure ring. Resolve the saves promptly before the joke grows longer than the critical hit.
Push each failing creature directly away from the wielder by the shortest valid line. Solid barriers stop movement and do not cause extra damage.
Set expectations for comic weapons during Session 0. The humour should create shared momentum without turning another player's serious moment into a compulsory punchline.
The Adventure Needs a Table
Give the Nonsense Room to Breathe
Unusual weapons become recurring stories when a group has a dependable place to play. The Tavern's guide to finding a D&D venue that supports long campaigns can help ye judge the room, noise, access, and community. Explore the wider Tavern Network when the campaign needs a proper home.
Common Mistakes
Five Ways to Inflate the Effect
Triggering on every hit. Thunderous Toot requires a critical hit.
Protecting allies automatically. Every other creature in the radius saves.
Removing spellcasting. Deafness alone does not block verbal components.
Adding collision damage. Walls simply stop the push.
Deafening for a full round. The effect ends at the start of the wielder’s next turn.
The Tavernkeeper's Verdict
A Critical Hit Everyone Hears
This morningstar turns rare luck into a compact disruption burst with genuine positional consequences. It is strongest in a crowd, which is also where careless placement can punish allies.
Check the radius, brace the party, and let the cushion speak for itself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Questions About the Whoopee Morningstar
Need broader help with the Tavern? Visit the main Mike's Tavern FAQ.
Once per turn when the wielder scores a critical hit.
Every other creature within 10 feet of the wielder.
Yes. The burst does not distinguish friend from foe.
Until the start of the wielder’s next turn.
No. The deafened condition does not itself prevent verbal components.
It can push a creature over an open edge, but striking a wall causes no bonus damage.
Yes. It combines a +1 weapon with area damage and control.
It suits characters around levels 5 to 10.
