A Compliment Ain’t a Confession. Learn the Difference, Lad

Dec 5

Some folk can’t tell the difference between a kind word and a loaded one.
They think every “good job” needs a secret meaning. Every smile’s an invitation.
By Durven’s Last Tankard, it’s enough to make a dwarf choke on his ale.

Let me say it plain.
A compliment ain’t a confession.
Treat it like one and you’re not building trust. You’re breaking it.

Mike’s Tale: The Rogue With Too Much Charm

Had a rogue once. Good lad, clever hands, sharp grin.
He thought flattery kept folk happy.
Didn’t see how every “you look lovely today” started sounding less like friendship and more like pressure.

One night our cleric stared him down and said,
“Say that again and I’ll turn your dice to dust.”

The rogue laughed. I didn’t.
So I told him, “Respect ain’t only what you do. It’s what you don’t do.”

If that stings, read Yer Not the Main Course, So Stop Hoggin’ the Spotlight. Learn to share a scene before you steal one.

Why Compliments Get Tricky

Good praise honors the game.
Tell someone their roleplay was sharp or their tactic saved the party. That’s camaraderie.
Start circling a player with sweet words and the table goes cold.

If you need a refresher on presence over performance, take in The Strongest Character at the Table Is the One Who Listens. Silence can earn more trust than a bucket of honeyed lines.

Praise Without Pressure

Do it like this.
Make it about effort, not appearance.
About choices, not charm.
And don’t make it about you.

If you still can’t tell when to stop, steady yourself with How to Speak Up Without Freezin’ at the Table. Find the line, then stay behind it.

The Mid-Tavern Reminder

Kindness without caution is chaos.
If your words make someone tense instead of safe, you failed your charisma check.
👉 Learn more at Tavern Etiquette or swing by About Mike’s Tavern. If you need help keeping the tone clean, talk to your GM like an adult with Top 5 Ways to Actually Talk to Yer GM Without Soundin’ Like a Brat.

When to Speak and When to Shut It

If a player looks uneasy, stop talking.
If they change the subject, let them.
If they go quiet, that’s not an invitation to fill the air. Give space.

Good tables are built on awareness, not noise.
If the room feels tight and distant, learn why in When the Table’s Full But It Feels Empty.

If You Mean It, Prove It

A good heart isn’t proven by what you say. It’s proven by what you choose not to say.
Next time you want to praise someone, think first.
If it’s about the story, the teamwork, the play, fine.
If it’s about them, maybe keep it to yourself.

That’s how awkward silence turns into trust.
By me beard, a little restraint never killed anyone.