Mike’s Rant

Alright, look. I ain’t mad at ya. I’ve seen it a hundred times — yer sittin’ quiet, tryin’ not to panic, waitin’ fer yer turn like the tavern door’s about to swing open and some death knight’s gonna demand yer name and date of birth.

I get it. Really, I do.

Back when I was runnin’ with the Gilded Four — before we lost Fruggin to a cursed flute and a miscast fly spell — I had a lad named Vinth. Wizard, young, barely knew his spells. Good heart. But every time combat started, he'd stare at his spellbook like it were written in Goblinese. “Mike,” he’d say, “I don’t remember what half these do!” And I’d shout back:

“THEN WHY’D YA PREP ‘EM, YA FLAME-FUMBLIN’ GNOME HUGGER?!”

...But I didn’t mean it. Truth is, he just needed a way in. A foothold. Somethin’ simple to start with. Same as you.

So here’s yer foothold.

Start Small, Fool

Don’t try to recall yer whole bloody sheet like some bard with a perfect memory. Just pick one thing yer character does well. Just one. Something yer lad or lassie can do without overthinkin’. A single cantrip. A favorite attack. That shove move you always forget about. Start there. Say it in yer head. Keep it ready. That’s yer hammer. Grip it.

Next session? Make it two.

A week later? Make it three.

Don’t memorize the whole spellbook. Learn it like you’d learn tavern brawlin’ — one swing at a time. Hell, even a goblin with a sling can get dangerous if he throws often enough.

Learn Yer Keywords, Not Yer Prayers

Don’t waste time tryin’ to remember entire paragraphs of rules text like yer recitin’ an elven prayer to the moon. Yer brain’ll melt. Instead, pick out the keywords — the bolded bits, the action types, the “reaction,” “range,” “blinded,” “piercing,” “bonus action,” “once per long rest,” all that tasty stuff.

Those are yer compass words. If ya learn those, ya can build muscle memory without soundin’ like yer readin’ a bloody warranty scroll.

Can’t Swing an Axe Ya Don’t Know How to Hold

Aye, it’s yer turn. The fireball’s flyin’, the goblins are cacklin’, and yer palms are sweatin’ like a halfling caught with a cursed spoon. But that’s exactly why ya train before the fight. One move. Then two. Then a chain. Get back to the Player Tips page and dig through the rest of ‘em. I’ve got plenty more scrolls where this one came from — and not all of ‘em insult yer bloodline.

👉 Need help rememberin' what yer rogue, wizard, or milk-drinkin' fighter can do? Look through the Player Builds and NPCs for quick inspiration that won't fry yer brain.

Techniques to Keep Yer Sheet in Yer Head

Make a cheat list. I ain’t talkin’ cheatin’ like that halfling in Emberhook. I mean a tiny scrap of paper or a corner of yer sheet that’s got yer three go-to moves. Refer to it quick. Use it like a sword hilt.
Talk it out before the game. Tell the table yer goal is to learn one or two moves better. Let ‘em help. Most of ‘em are just glad ya ain’t sittin’ there panickin’.
Ask for reminders early. Don’t wait ‘til it’s yer turn. During someone else’s action, skim yer stuff. Read one spell. One trait. One thing. That’s what downtime’s for.
Practice outside the game. Aye, even five minutes of readin’ at home before bed will do more for yer brain than twenty minutes of scroll-wrestlin’ mid-session.
Use builds as examples. You wanna see what a good fighter actually does? Look at this Goblin Cleric who Hates Healing. He’s got two solid moves and sticks with ‘em like an orc to a grudge.

Keep Yer Brain Sharp So Yer Axe Don’t Have To Be

Ain’t no shame in learnin’ slow. Shame’s in lettin’ it stop ya. Start with one thing — just one — and give it the respect it deserves. This game’s fer everyone. Even the thin-bearded, rune-forgettin’, torch-droppin’ pebble counters like yerself.

👉 If yer still feelin’ lost, check the FAQ page or send a scroll through the Contact page. We’ve all fumbled a sheet before. Yer not alone in the tavern, lad.

FAQ

Q: What if I forget even the one thing I practiced?
A: Then ya pick a new one next time. This ain’t a test — it’s a tavern fight. Ya get up and try again.

Q: What if I’m playin’ multiple characters across games?
A: Then write down yer basics on a small card or file. Don’t rely on memory alone unless yer a dwarven sage with a scrollcase fer a head.

Q: Is it better to memorize full spells or just effects?
A: Start with effects. Know what it does before worryin’ what it says. That’ll save yer bacon faster than readin’ the whole thing in combat.

Stop Forgettin’ What Yer Character Can Do