“By Tharn’s itchy chainmail, I’ve seen livelier corpses than this table.”

They’re here, technically. But so’s the tavern broom — and at least that gets moved once in a while.

Look, lad, there’s a difference between bodies in chairs and souls in the game. And if yer party’s sittin’ there like enchanted mushrooms, noddin’ at every plot twist like they’re listenin’ to a bard read tax scrolls, then somethin’s gone rotten in the keg. Maybe it’s the game. Maybe it’s them. Maybe — and don’t throw a tankard at me for sayin’ this — it’s you.

I once ran a session for a crew that barely looked up from their rations. One lad kept scribblin’ in his notebook, turnin’ pages like he was studyin’ for a wizard’s exam. Another was fiddlin’ with dice like he was tryna cast “Summon Interest.” The rogue? I swear she fell asleep behind her hood. Mid-session. I had to roll her stealth check.

So what do ya do when yer players show up but leave their excitement behind like a forgotten scrollcase? Here’s how ya get the fire back under their feet.

A Table Without Tension Is Just a Room Full o’ Boredom

👉 If yer campaign feels like it’s driftin’, stop lettin’ it. I built Mike’s GM Wisdom archive to slap some life back into the screen. And if yer players are starin’ through ya like you’re a ghost in a bad play, send up a flare over at Mike’s contact page. I’ll holler some advice into yer tankard.

How to Wake Up Yer Sleepwalkin’ Table

1. Check for Quiet Burnout

Sometimes they ain’t bored — they’re burnt. Job stress, school, life mess, even just a bad week. Before you rewrite the whole story, check in. Doesn’t have to be a therapy circle. Just a “How’s everyone doin’?” in yer best grumpy barkeep tone.

If burnout’s the problem, maybe try When Yer Heart’s Givin’ Out but Yer Hands Keep Preppin’.

2. Trim the Filler

If yer game’s crawlin’ through fetch quests and errands like an old mule in the mud, don’t blame the players. Blame the scroll. Cut scenes that don’t spark decisions, danger, or delight.

Better yet, spice the world up like Thorneblight Village — mystery, danger, silence that says more than words.

3. Put the Spotlight Back On ‘Em

Make it personal. Tie NPCs to their backstories. Throw consequences from their old choices back into the tavern fire. If they ain’t leanin’ forward, you ain’t hit the nerve yet.

Need examples? Check how The Count of Thorneblight turns even a smirk into a hook.

4. Give ‘Em Hard Choices

Nothin’ wakes a player up like havin’ to choose between their sword arm and their morals. Offer dilemmas, not just danger.

Do they save the town? Or the relic?
Betray the villain? Or take his deal?

Tavern tales ain't built on math. They're built on mayhem.

5. Reward Risk Over Routine

Safe play is dead play. If the rogue picks another lock while everyone else stares at their stones, give it consequences. The door opens — and inside’s somethin’ cursed, loud, or missin' entirely.

Start leanin’ into wild results like The Sword That Remembers Every Kill It Makes — yer players might not always love it, but they’ll sure as stone remember it.

They Signed Up to Feel Somethin’, Not Just Show Up

👉 Ya don’t need to dance for ‘em, lad. But ya do need to give ‘em a reason to lean in. Check out the full GM Wisdom stack if yer campaign’s driftin’ into silence. Or if the whole table’s feelin’ off, maybe yer etiquette needs a tune-up — start with The Strongest Character at the Table Is the One Who Listens.

Still not workin’? Might be time to yell a little. Mike-style.

FAQ

Q: What if only one or two players are checked out?
A: Yank ‘em back in. Ask questions in-character. Drop their backstory into the session. If they don’t bite, talk between sessions.

Q: Can I just tell them to focus more?
A: Aye, but don’t lecture. Make the game worth focusin’ on. That’s the real fix.

Q: Should I cancel the game if everyone’s mentally absent?
A: One session? Maybe. A pattern? Then aye — pause the campaign and talk it out. Ain’t shameful to call a time-out if the fire’s outta the hearth.