The Fall of Twist-Tail – Part 3: Acrobatics & Alarms

By Brunlin’s missing eyebrow, this was the part where it almost looked like they might pull it together. Almost. But just when ya think yer party’s found their footing, the bard slips on a banana peel, the barbarian backflips into a skeleton, and the wizard sets his own eyebrows on fire. Again.

If there’s a lesson here, it’s this: never trust momentum. Especially not when it’s being carried by a furball with the spinal control of a snake tied in a bow.

The Bureaucratic Skeleton Swarm

A dozen skeletons in tattered suits lurch out from behind cubicles. Each one armed with a quill and a snarling chant of “EXPIRED PERMITS!” These weren’t just undead, they were undead administrators.

Kitara charges with all the fury of a cat denied her morning snack. Swings her axe — and spins into a double-backbend mid-strike. Her limbs twist so far around she practically knots her tail around her own neck.

She misses every skeleton.

Jenkins, weaving through the flurry, yells, “Nice moves, Cat-Caller! #Yogabarian,” and tosses a dagger. It misses the target, sticks in the ceiling, and drops parchment on Grok.

Grok yells, “Fireball!” but what he casts is more like “Singe-beard.” His facial hair smolders as he dances in place, trying to puff it out.

Kitara, meanwhile, drops into the splits (again), slides under one skeleton and knocks its bony knees out. For a moment, just a moment, the party cheers. “SHE DID A THING!”

Then she stands too fast, overcorrects, and headbutts a stone pillar. The echo of forehead-on-granite was apparently heard by a badger two miles away.

Down she goes. Out cold. Again.

The Rolling Boulder Trap

Now here’s a classic: the old rolling boulder corridor. The second they trigger it, the rumble shakes the walls and every one o’ them yells “RUN!” at once. Except Kitara.

Kitara says, “I got this,” and limbos under the thing like her spine’s made of melted licorice. She slides under, backbend so deep her whiskers brush the floor. She clears it.

The party gasps. I’m told Jenkins even shouted, “SHE’S USEFUL!!”

But no. No she ain’t.

Because she pops up too fast, folds into a knot, and trips Jenkins, who was carrying Grok’s spellbook. It flies, lands in front of the boulder… and gets crushed flatter than a pancake in a forge press.

The boulder jams in place, but now they’re stuck in a dead end, facing a shattered book and a knotted barbarian yelling, “IT’S KITARA!”

Jenkins tweets, “Twist-Tail saved us, then screwed us. #BendyBlunder.” Grok weeps over his book like it was his first love.

If Your Strategy Involves Limbo, It's Already Too Late

👉 When yer best hope is “maybe the barbarian can limbo under it,” ya might wanna rethink yer tactics. For builds that actually work, check out this ironclad paladin or this rogue who isn’t allergic to logic. Or just learn from a trap designed to punish fools, not finish ‘em, like this one here.

The Filing Cabinet Gauntlet

Next? A long room filled with enchanted filing cabinets that fling paper at high speeds. Each document screams, “SIGN ME!” as it sails through the air.

Kitara dives forward, twisting her spine like she’s made of rope. She dodges three forms mid-air, snatches a glowing pink contract, and the cabinets pause. For one glorious moment, it looks like she’s done it. She’s won.

But no. Of course not.

She stands, tries to pose triumphantly… and her legs betray her again. Triple-backflip. Mid-air spin. Full-body splits. BOOM. She hits the ground and sends the stack of forms into the air like confetti at a gnome wedding.

The cabinets go berserk.

Jenkins yells, “Furry, yer a walking disaster! #Paperpocalypse!”

Grok casts “Burning Hands” to destroy the forms but only succeeds in setting his own hat on fire. Again. That's the third time this week.

By the end, they’re wading through paper like snow, Kitara’s still stuck in the splits, and the exit sign’s blinking red.

The Almost-Heroic Rope Bridge

They reach a rickety rope bridge over a chasm. Spikes pop from the walls every few seconds. Kitara volunteers.

“I’m built for this,” she purrs. She dodges, weaves, flips. Her flexibility actually helps. The party’s stunned. She’s halfway across.

“Go, Furry!” they cheer.

Then she over-flexes, folds herself into a ball, and rolls off the bridge.

She catches a rope with her tail. Hangs like a mewling ornament. The spikes stop. The trap’s disarmed.

Victory!

…until her flailing feet kick the bridge supports.

It collapses.

They all tumble into a net below, tangled like seaweed in a storm.

Jenkins tweets, “Cat-Caller nearly saved us, then yeeted us. #BridgeBust.” Grok, upside down, mumbles something about “visual impairment protocols.”

Kitara, of course, dangles there hissing: “IT’S. KITARA.”

Want More Bends, Breaks, and Buffoonery?

👉 If yer group insists on acrobatics in every dungeon, at least know what yer getting into. Learn what happens when red tape becomes literal in The Goblin Auditors of Doom, or figure out how not to be the cause of every team wipe at Tavern Etiquette.